highpoint

remember high point

the ghost bus from elephant

through the biblical landscapes
fields punctuated with trees
older than time

to freeze
a moment  of pure sublime
nah it weren't an escape 

but it came close,
gazing out the window
feeling morose

listening to j cole

wondering if the gaping hole 

in my chest would ever be filled

if my restless heart, 

would ever be still 

and I remember that gleaming barbed wire

the chalk blue sky
a sun so high

that sunday at high point

I was so low
and you know

I was so relieved that I forgot it

that I had to wait

alone in that room

where the security cameras surrounded

alone with my thoughts 

and that single letter

maybe I'm dead inside yo

maybe I just don't want you to know

or see me like this

lost and at risk

at risk of losing it all 

everything 

with your words
------ so cold
shit remember high point

that bust-up bus that afternoon

my head resting against the glass

stomach growling well attuned

to those lyrics, and my heart

remember high point

after that i promised I'd start

again, to be more grateful 

to be less wasteful

of time, and more forgiving

don't know why

it's like im living

a half life

i'm half like

not here- always

wondering where

to go next

----------------------to be free
shit//// TO BE FREEEE

the art of self- sabotage

the art of self sabotage

drop the façade

and set it all alight

make all days and nights

the same but different 

the art of self sabotage

walk away, walk away, walk away

every time you feel your sky 

turning grey

the art of self sabotage

quit before you even start

never put your heart

before all else, or else

you might just make it right

better still, take flight

the art of self sabotage

cut your speech in half

break every promise, 

cut every tie

don't even bother to try

to explain, 

see it's all the same

the art of self sabotage

turn you're life into a collage

mismatched and misshapen

escape them

all certainties, 

laid out, s'just dunya

fade out, 

////////s'just dunya

searching, even still

travelling solo

don't know where I'm going yo

                                  I'm still trying            though

to figure it out 

on my way, 

hood up, I stay 

at the back

head up looking at the sun

I'm still that same bum

still I've yet to come

round full circle, 

though the circle

is fast closing

so still I, 

                                                   continue roving

these city streets

those city streets, up rivers, I keep

staring at the same sun

wondering how I'd managed to out run

them all, yet at the same time
be so far behind
                                                      still here
right here
I swear

I still have no idea

------shit man, 

life, it still alludes me

though its beauty

                                           keeps me going

too late, to be slowing

too little, I be knowing

even still